Fight, Flight or Freeze: Why We Live in Rage Nation

Fights on airplanes and in schools, road rage and violent crimes are all on the rise. People seem to be losing patience with each other, whether the disagreement is over politics, sports teams, or everyday life. As a nation and as individuals, we are experiencing helpless outrage at the smallest of slights – both real and perceived. I’m sure you’ve experienced it yourself. I certainly have, and this sense of helpless outrage concerns me, especially as we head into the hectic holiday season.

The pandemic put everyone on edge. For nearly three years, we’ve lived in a state of constant hypervigilance – unconsciously evaluating every stranger, and even some friends, as a potential threat of infection. We went through months focused on the question – “is it safe?” Is it safe to go shopping? Is it safe to go without a mask? Is it safe to eat at a restaurant? Even the smallest tasks seemed to threaten life or death consequences, and the stress continues to take a profound toll.

Fight, flight, or freeze

Our bodies are tuned to respond immediately to a threat. In fact, anxiety and fear often manifest as anger. With Fight, flight, or freeze – your body prepares to meet the threat by either fighting it, fleeing from it, or staying stuck still in the hopes of passing unnoticed. Our sympathetic nervous system flushes the body with adrenaline, your muscles tense and your responses become almost instinctual, prompted by a portion of our brain called the amygdala. Then, just as quickly, our parasympathetic nervous system works to calm the body and reduce heart rate – or homeostasis – once the perceived threat has ended.

Except coronavirus and the ensuing societal changes persist. We are living in a constant battle between our sympathetic nervous system – the fight, flight, or freeze response – and the parasympathetic system – our body’s instinct to keep us calm. Unfortunately, this type of internal chaos can manifest as rage. As a result, the average, well-meaning individual who doesn’t typically have anger issues is more irrational, leading to an increase in explosive and reactionary behavior.

Taking Ownership of Your Response

So how do we bounce back from the chaos? Typically, we would lean on our resilience – the ability to cope with stress. But many people have exhausted the reserves of their resilience. Just like exercise, we must work to keep resilience in shape. Without resilience we are much more likely to overreact or keep obsessing about a situation, which increases agitation.

There are many ways to build up resilience. One of the ways we boost resilience is by actively working to reduce hypervigilance in our interactions and instead give people the benefit of the doubt. If we are positive and open minded, we may experience calmer interactions. If we find ourselves becoming hostile, it’s important to take a deep breath and evaluate why we are reacting this way and what we can do differently next time.

How to feel better in the time of helpless outrage

As I write this post, the nation is marching full speed ahead to a post-pandemic world – one where COVID-19 will remain a part of our lives. However, most people have not yet really dealt with the rollercoaster of feelings and experiences brought on by the pandemic. It’s critically important to acknowledge what we’ve been through and understand how constant hypervigilance can result in emotional disturbance and behavior changes. If we don’t address our own healthy and appropriate anxiety, frustration, and anger, it will continue to leak into our interactions with others. I find the following tools very helpful:

As a reminder, we can only take ownership of our own behavior; we cannot control the reactions of others. As we move into the new year, there may be some situations or relationships you need to step back from. The goal should be to avoid depleting interactions in favor of nurturing ones. I want to empower you to take an active role in creating a sense of peace and well-being. After all, the counter to helpless outrage is to embrace your power for positive change.