You are never more spiritual than you are in this moment. These are the words spoken at the beginning of every Spiritual Friday group at Caron Renaissance. Although difficult to understand, the patients want to hear them and look forward to repeating them to other patients. You are never more spiritual than you are in this moment. You’ve just forgotten who you are and forgotten your connection with a Power and Presence that loves you more than any word could express.
Regardless of what you have done, how you have hurt, and who you have believed yourself to be, you are a spiritual being worthy of having and capable of living a beautiful fulfilling life.
Addiction robs us of an ability to connect with anything beautiful within us. Whether an addict or an addict’s loved one; our feelings of fear, guilt, shame, regret, anger, sadness and grief often take us to a place, where we believe (because we cannot see) there is no “Light”. There is always Light. There is always Love. There is always God. Whether we can feel it or not, the truth is we are always connected to a God who loves us and so is our loved one.
The Hawaiian spiritual tradition teaches that every child born into this world is like a “bowl of Light” containing the radiance of heaven. If rocks are placed in the bowl, the light is hidden. Those painful feelings and beliefs we carry as we suffer addiction are the rocks that hide our light; the rocks that keep us feeling disconnected and unworthy, the rocks that lead us to believe that we are incapable of ever expressing or being that beautiful bowl of Light again. But remember, the Light is just hidden, not gone. The Light is God, our Higher Power. The Presence is always apart of us and can never leave us, we are one with It. And, although we may “appear” in the dark, although we may feel in the dark…there is always Light within us. We may lose awareness of our connections but we never lose our connection…we cannot lose that which is within us, that which we carry, that which we are.
I am quite sure that the only reason I am here today is because of the prayers of my mother and my family who never gave up on me and never stopped believing that our family could heal. My mother never stopped seeing me as that “bowl of Light” There were many times during my active addiction, when there was no contact between my family and I. Although these times were deeply sad and often filled with fear, and although any connection with me was impossible, my mother says that she always connected with God. In prayer when she connected with God, she felt connected with me; she always remembered and believed in the Presence of God in me and she could let go and let God. I will be forever grateful for that.
You are never more spiritual than you are in this moment because of who you are and because of Who you are always connected to. Know this for yourself and your loved ones and trust. Trust that regardless of appearances, God is there, God is protecting, God is guiding and above all…God is loving you and the one you love. As you remember this and pray this and believe this, you will release yourself from the need or the responsibility to fix or to heal and you let God . You are always connected to the one you love and the One who loves you.
“I Am There” is a beautiful reminder that we are always connected to HP. There is a copy of this on the moon. On the Apollo 15 Mission, Astronaut James Irwin placed this prayer in the time capsule each mission leaves. It was his mother’s favorite. It is a prayer I often read to our patients.