“When I went to the hospital, I couldn’t remember my name.”
I liked my Chardonnay crisply chilled. I had to be lady-like with my drinking. By the end I was drinking less than a glass of wine a day because my tolerance had become so low, but it was doing a lot of damage to me. I realized I was in bad shape and tried to stop drinking for two days. It was awful. I went to the hospital and was sent home. The next morning I woke up and thought, “Oh, this is bad.” I knew I had to stop and I couldn’t do it on my own. I suddenly realized it was just an idiotic idea to stop drinking by myself. I attribute that life saving thought to my Higher Power.
I made a commitment while in the hospital to get help. I came to the Seniors Program at Caron from physical rehabilitation in March 2015. I was in a wheelchair and had an aide 24/7 and was struggling with memory issues. Caron offered so much individualized attention in the Seniors Program. The multidisciplinary approach was critical to me. The medical, psychological, and cognitive therapy, in addition to teaching me the nuts and bolts of recovery from alcoholism, helped me connect to the recovery I have today. I learned how to ask for help. I am a nature person and being at a place like Caron was just wonderful. It was an important part of my spiritual life.
Today my sponsor and my grand-sponsor tell me how important it is to get the spiritual part of recovery. It’s through grace that I am here today. It’s not that I don’t have struggles, we all do. With willingness to do the work, I keep getting better and everything keeps coming back on line for me: my memory and cognitive skills have improved so much and I’m feeling things. It’s going to take time, but things are getting better with my adult children. I have realistic expectations and know I need to rebuild the trust. I’m learning to celebrate the struggles and to have fun, too. Life just literally has much clearer outlines to it.